People who take themselves too seriously, specifically on the internet.

You know the type, the people who make pointless, self aggrandising statements on forums (and if you thought “look how clever I am, I know that it should be fora for the plural of forum”, you are undoubtedly one of them.)

The pedants, the childish - “My choice of music/games console/sexual preference is better than yours”, the pathetic Emperor’s clothes types. These were the people that pre - internet read NME, and had to be told what to like, the ones that as soon as someone else had heard of the music they liked, they could no longer like them as they had obviously “sold out”

The people that have to prove their superiority over other happy forum users, as obviously they have to recognise them as their intellectual betters. There are of course the opopsite, the ones who are mentally deficient and take things far too seriously and put forward idiotic arguments, or American teenagers as they more commonly known.

We all know that these cyber bullies are living out a fantasy, that they are sad, pallid little geeks who couldn’t really talk to someone of the opposite sex. They then take out their years of bitterness on people on the internet, as it all that they have.

Pity them, and move on. That is all.

In other news, I am soon to be working on the design for the stickers. I am sorry that both they, and the next NSD are delayed but I am very busy at the moment, as is james.

I am getting some paper so that I can make static cling window stickers for the North South Divide.

Who is interested in having one? They will be free, as long as you are going to actually put them up somewhere. Advertising you see?

I would also like any ideas that you have for the design, you are a talented lot after all.

Thanks

“Hastings direct.com, Hastings direct.cooooooom”

“Elephant.co.uk, that’s Elephant.co.uk that’s Elephant.co.uk”

Norton Finance, Ocean Finance and so on.

Yes, adverts. Particularly daytime TV adverts, I understand that there is less money in daytime TV, but there is no need for this kind of thing. Finance vampires, ambulance chasers and insurance peddlers with awful adverts trying to make a connection with stupid people. They have obviously deemed that the only people watching TV during the day are ill educated morons, and have decided to pitch their wares accordingly.

I have to admit in advance that I watch very little TV, so I am probably more sensitive to this guff, but if I was in the demographic I would be mortally offended by this treatment. (Yes demographic Tarquin, you coke snorting, pony tailed twat. I do know what that means.*) Have they not realised that students are at home during the day? And the argument would be as follows:

“Yes, there are students at home all day, but our research shows that students have little disposable income for our products”

Okay, my research, well I say research, by which I mean I have been walking around with my bloody eyes open. My research has picked up, that while it is true that students have little money now, most will have in the future. My other parallel piece of research that I have been running at the same time shows that people that work in advertising have a small black hole where there souls should be. This, if I may summarise for a moment, is obviously due to them selling their souls to Satan. As an atheist, Satan is a representation of big business. If you are in advertising don’t bother responding to this, just remember that when you start receiving the money from whoring yourself to these companies that your opinion ceases to matter. YOU ARE OWNED, end of story.

I suppose that the flip side is that these businesses think that these adverts are good, but I find it hard to believe that these multi million pound companies haven’t realised how shockingly bad these things are. They surely don’t look at them proudly when they are being showed what they have paid tens of thousands of pounds for?

There is an argument that they are so bad deliberately, so that we remember them, so that they stick in your conscience like nicotine sticks in a smokers cranium. Hmm, okay I can see that as a possible. All I would say is this, I remember Peter Sutcliffe, but I wouldn’t want to share a room with him…

*Yes,  I am aware that this is lazy and stereotypical characterization but they employ it so why shouldn’t I? Think like your enemy  to catch them out.

Hi everyone, james and I have been talking quite a bit lately about getting more listeners.

As it is we appreciate that we have to try and get them out more regularly (Phwoar etc!).

We have thought about sending some bits of the ‘casts to community and hospital radio, so that they can play it out as long as they read out our web address.

I was also thinking about making some window stickers (Not lickers) for cars and house windows, would anyone be interested in NSD merchandise? We would make it at cost, as cheaply as possible.

We also need to break America, we have a few listeners over there, but not many. We are thinking about trying to find some ex pats, any idea how we could do that anyone?

Any help appreciated, together we can take over the world!*

*Well, I don’t really want the world to be honest, I am going to annexe that last piece of pizza though.

This is, I think, the only time that the Yetts o’Muckhart have been mentioned on national TV. To explain to anyone that doesn’t know, it is a little village in central Scotland, where I was watching this with my mate who lived there. I have never laughed so much since.

Firstly, before I forget, if you are a North South Divide fan and on Facebook:

http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2417272239&ref=nf

There is now a North South Divide group on Facebook, join away folks and say hello!

I now have my car, it is very nice I will post more about this when I get more chance to play with it I am sure.

Finally, I am writing the next podcast (No really) and I am pleased with what we have so far. james and I have been talking about ways to increase the amount of listeners that we get, and one idea was to send shortened versions of the NSD ‘casts to community and hospital radio stations. Also I was thinking of making some North South Divide window stickers, (not lickers) any takers? They would of course be either free or very cheap.

Love you, and leave you folks.

Here we are, cool on the heels of the Rock podcast comes Salvage, the latest podcast from the North South Divide.Like that difficult second album syndrome, Salvage took a little longer than we expected to produce, but that was due to james and I arguing and our recreational drugs use.*

As is the usual state of affairs with us, as there has not been a podcast for a while, the next one will be along soon.

This is in low quality 40k, for better quality click the download links below.

 

 Salvage [27:24m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Good quality:

Salvage in 96k mp3 format - 18.8 Mb

Best Quality:
Salvage in 192k mp3 format - 37.64Mb

*This is not actually true, but the truth is far more dull I am afraid.

Walk a mile in their shoes.

Then when you do criticise them, you will be a mile away, with a rather spiffy pair of free new shoes.*

*And some serious foot problems if your feet are as big as mine.

Well there is the obvious, the design has changed again. It may again yet until I find one that I am 100% happy with. The old theme had a very odd way of formatting text, which meant that I had to consider how things would be laid out when they appeared on the blog. Not conducive to a writers muse that, is it?

Also you can see, in the post below, how many downloads that we have had. I have just edited it into a table format to make it a bit easier to read.

The next podcast is nearly finished too, everything is recorded, james is going to get it finally edited and the we will release it onto an unsuspecting internet. I am also starting to write the next one, no really! I am changing the style a little, as you will notice when you listen to Salvage, but I am aware that our fans (bless both of them) like us the way that we are, so I am trying to change little bits rather than go for an overhaul.

Flash Ramsbottom is, as ever, still in development hell. I am starting to wish that I hadn’t thought of it. But it does make me laugh.

As a final thing, I am thinking of putting some of my other writing on’t net, possibly in PDF format as e-books. (Or eeebahgum-books in Yorkshire) Some of my other stuff would need rewriting from the ground up, as they were written for other formats. It could be done though.

Anyway, love you BYE!

Edit: I have also added the kit page (i.e. the stuff that we use to make NSD podcasts) to the blog so that it is in the same format, and now easier to edit.

Some people spend their lives pretending be heterosexual most of their adult lives. Even going to the lengths of getting married and having kids. Quite often they do this believing that what they are doing is right. But in the end, it doesn’t matter the real person still comes through.

When I was younger I dabbled with, and I can hardly bear to admit this, stand up comedy. It’s okay I didn’t inhale.

Over the years I have tried to ignore this disturbing side to my personality, indulging my tendencies by writing bits and pieces here and there. Eventually I pushed it down and took proper “grown up” jobs to cover up my true feelings. Unfortunately creating the North South Divide made me realise that I could lie no longer.

I write and perform comedy, and I am loud and proud brothers and sisters! I actually intend to get back on stage this year once I am settled into my new job. Keep ‘em peeled.

Trev